Tuedays Trivia

Why do I feel guilty so much? Here I am sitting at the computer and DH comes in with a basket of folding. I feel guilty about it. Why should I? He spends hours on the computer every day but he says it is earning our income. Why can't I feel that I can sit for ages here......................

I have cut heaps of roses this morning. The first time in ages and ages I have had them inside the house. Last year I did nothing with them. This year I have fed them blood and bone and cow manure, pruned them right back and I have been rewarded with some of the most beautiful blooms I have had for a few years. The best one seems to be the one my Brother and Sister in Law gave me after Dad died. A sort of 'Thank you' for the care I/ we gave him. Next to it is a beautiful purple one called 'Passion Purple' (I think). It is flowering well. My Iceburg doesn't seem to be doing well at all. I am not sure what the problem is but the ground is reasonably damp to wet most of the time. I might transplant it next June when it is safer to do so. I also have a blood red Gladdie out. The first Gladdie to flower for the same reasons as the roses............ This Gladdie flowered while Dad and I were in Sydney in Nov. 2002 for his Radiotherapy. Hasn't flowered since.

Our friend, George, is having a rough time at the moment with kidney stones. He has been in and out of the hospital since Saturday night. I hope he gets rid of them soon. The pain from those little buggers is phenominal.

I am about to hang some things on the line, then I will make sure some ironing is done and out of the way so I can scrap this afternoon. I haven't scrapped for a couple of weeks.

Looking forward to seeing my big son and his beautiful girl from China in a couple of weeks time. Janets Mum will be out in Auistralia on a work trip so we will be able to meet her too.

I'll be off.

Darrell : 'What kind of meat is this?'
Jenny: 'Steak"
D. "What kind of steak?"
J: "I don't know. Steak. I didn't read the name on the bag"
Emily: "Can I pick it up in my fingers, put my foot on it and growl?"
J. "NO. Use your Knife and fork."
E: I can't cut it with this knife"
Oliver:" get a steak Knife"
D:"Did you cook this under the grill?:

Jenny EXITS the table in a foul mood.

Thsi gives me the SH*TS BIG TIME..........

They can cook their own bl**dy tea next time.

It seems ages since I have written anything in my blog but in reality, I suppose it isn't all that long......only 3 or 4 days.

Today is/ was the third anniversary of the death of my Mum. Her death came more of a shock to me than my Dads death, 6 months earlier. Mum seemed to be settling into the Nursing Home and we seemed to be finally starting to be OK again (she was not happy at all with the NH arrangements and with me being the one to visit most often, I guess I was sitting duck for her sadness and upset feelings, feelings of abandonment etc. I knew what it was all about but that judt didn't make it any easier to handle. I had to stay away for a while. It was all so terrible). The day has passed in a lot better way that I thought it would. I think that Mr. time is weaving his softening spell.

I have not rung my sister or my two brothers today................is that bad???? I think we all are dealing with everything in our own ways.

Was a quiet day here in Couchville.

I slept in until 10.30 am, had a do nothing much sort of a day although there is tons to do !! helped DD2 a little bit with some sewing she was doing for a friends birthday party tonight. Rang DD1 to see if she would be home for tea and if so, what would she like (it was to be a birthday tea...) THEN had a phone call from my friend............the Fire brigade were available to burn off some dead logs and other timber at Jackadgery so went up there. DD1 chose not to come home tonight so will be home tomorrow (another weekend for study down the plug hole )......Gawd I hope this kid can cram in ecough in 2 weeks to get her the UAI she needs for Uni !

DS2 cooked 'sausage rolls, cubed everything and mashed potatoes for tea tonight. Cubed everything is frozen veges !!!

Not far off going to bed now. One glass of Boxed Red should see me sleeping soundly pretty soon.

....I slept very little last night...3, maybe 4 hours all up. I have been up since 6.30am (tis now almost 8pm). I have seen kids off to school, watered the gardens, weeded some gardens, weeded another garden, then another one...............I am aching all over.

So much for getting lots of sunshine ! Off to have a hot shower, then I might crawl into bed.........

I saw a few snippets of Steve Irwins memorial Service but couldn't watch the whole thing.

RIP, Steve.

My sympathies to you, Terri and Bindi and Little Bob.

Another Scrapitude Challenge

This LO was done by Rona from Scrapitude. I love how she has cut the photo into pieces then put it together with spaces between. A different perspective on a single LO. The flowers make cara look as though she is swinging amongst them.....















This LO is of my sons Fiance, Janet. I Love the whole feeling of the photo. To me, it is one of elegance and sophistication, how her hair is swept up, the Mona Lisa type smile.....we don't know what it is exactly she IS smiling at (Oh I Know....My Prima Flowers LOL )

What Do I Like About Me ?

Scrappy Fairy ( http://www.scrapitude.co.uk ) has challenged us to blog about Something I Like About Me'.........

Well, ummmmmmm not a lot comes to mind. I like to think I am a friendly person, a 'good' mother to my kids. A 'good' listener, a 'good' friend. My hair is nice...........

Should slip this into too hard basket.

My Late Afternoon

I toddled off to see my Dr this arv. She sent me up to the mental Health Unit and I had a talk with a really nice bloke. I felt comfortable with him. Both he and the GP want me to see the Psych so I will make an appointment with him tomorrow. The GP said that if I have trouble getting in, to let her know and she will make the appointment for me. The MHU bloke said that by going there, there will be a 'safety net' set up for me. I have numbers to ring if I crash out of hours. I felt, well, safe.

I haven't been talking to DH about any of what or how I am feeling..........I will get around to that.

I am going to see if I can't get any scrapping done. I WANT to and I NEED to...................it just isn't happening, though.

Have Made a Minor Decision

I am taking the plunge today and seeing a GP. Not my usual one as she is away, so another of the lady Dr.s There have been a feww things happen in the last couple of months that have tended to 'get to me' and I can't seem to get myself out of my rut. I just don't want to do anything much and there is plenety to do. Just have no real interest in anything much which in its turn, helps keep me down there.......

Can't cope well with the kids.........just life in general. Admittedly, I am nowhere near as bad as I was in March/ April but I don't want to get as down as that.

There are people around who are worse than me but to be truthful, sometimes it just doesn't help me. I feel worse because I feel bad about stuff and yet, their life happenings are worse than mine.

I am rambling here.

I Have Music

Just love this song. Really picks me up.

I just don't know how to get it into the side bar LOL

Wellllll

..I am sitting here bashing the keyboard. I want to do some scrapping but just sat there. Gazing off into nothing.

I am not sure I can handle being me at the moment. I just wish there was something better.........

Oliver just refuses to get his homework done, Elizabeth came home last Friday with the announcement that a Yr 11 boy (a nice kid) has asked her to be his girlfriend. He came around to meet us and when he went home........well she just watches too much bloody Television.........

Ally is favouring DH............I should not have expected a kitten to be all mine when there are 4 others in the house. I will never have a cat again like my Possum.

I think I should just go to bed.

Homework??

How do you get a 15 year old to get his homework done?

How do you get the message across that if it is done ASAP after getting it, you there will be no worries about due dates etc?

It is an age old question, I know. DS1 and DD2 seem to 'get it', DD1 'gets it' some of the time. I feel as though I bang my head against a brick wall............. He gets distracted SO easily. What makes it worse is when DH asks and asks about the h'work to be done (This REALLY frustrates DH........DS not doing his homework) I really find it difficult coping with what goes on especially when DS gets angry and walks away not getting anything done.....................I am hoping he will get himself soeted out one day. Next year he will really need to have stuff done and in on time or he runs the rsik of no Schoool Certificate. I can see another Krakatoa if that happens.

DH took DD1 to Armidale on Friday for thier Open Day. She came home full of information, happier about staying in a fully catered college and seems to be confident and focused even more about Nursing. She only needs to stick her head in her books and study for the next 5 weeks or so. The HSC begins on the 19th October and she has her first exam that day. There is nothing extra we can be doing, the ball is in her court. She has said she hasn't done well in the HSC Trials. I only hope she can study enough to get the UAI she needs for Uni.

Just spoke to my Big Boy. Love chatting to him. J His Fiance's Mum is coming to visit in mid October so we are going down to meet her. really looking forward to that and to seeing M and J again. M was home in the July holidays but we haven't seen J for nearly 12 months. Well, it would be 12 months and a bit more. She came home with M in the July holidays last year. They had a special day on Friday. It was their First Anniversary of being Engaged............I remember when.....it was DH and me. Such a long time ago, now. :-)

We have been haing some great rain over the last week or so. Very heavy at times, too. Fantastic. There are still places that need it badly. Maybe God could turn a couple of more sprinklers on around the place.

Before I toddle off to bed, there is something I would like to mention..........

Organ Donation. On Friday, 1st September, one week after her First Birthday, A Little Princess, Rani Millar died of liver failure before she could have a transplant. PLEASE, talk to your families about organ donation. It can truly be a life saving act. So many people were praying and hoping for a liver to become available for Rani but it was not to be. You can read about Rani's struggle here :- http://www.millar5.blogspot.com It makes for sad reading but the strength and courage of this little girl and her family is truly amazing. There is no justice in the world............to save Rani's life, a child first had to lose thiers.............such a hard thing to deal with.

Well, time for bed. There are a few things I'd like to get done tomorrow.

See you next time. If you read this, I'd love it if you'd leave a message, just to say 'Hello' :-)

Brocky Has Been Killed.....

I have just heard that Peter Brock, King of the Mountain several times, has been killed in a crash during the Targa Rally in WA today.

Just unbelievable.......I used to watch him (on telly) go round Mt. Panorama when I was a kid.

RIP Brocky. Sympathies to your family..................

Not so SPLAT.........

I think I am feeling a bit better today.

I am having a day to myself and I am going to scrap all day (once I hang the washing out ).

DH and DD1 have gone to Armidale for the UNE Open Day. They left here at 6am, O and E are at school and I won't see them until 4pm. Hope DH and DD1 saty in Armidale absorbing as much as possible about the Uni.

i intend to have a great day !! Have the stereo going with what I like and how loud I want it !!!!

SPLAT

Can someone tell me why it is that when I start to feel OK, I seem to crash? It happens time and time again............About 8 years ago I was running around, doing heaps of stuff at school and out of school. Now I do ZILCH and I STILL end up in a heap. I have a good start to the day, then within a couple of hours, I can be in tears, pick up a bit during the day, then fizzle at night. I am up and down like a yo-yo...............

I try to control how I am but sometimes I can't. I try not to let on to the family how I feel but they are not silly........they know. The birthday girl loses it with me, DH can too......

Just don't know.

I find myself thinking of doing 'silly things'.............I have strong urges just not to be here.

I have been told so many times that I am not expected to ever go back to work, then this morning I am asked if I want to go back............. The finances are all geared to a low income so me going back to work will stuff up those plans.

Have to go.........

I'm a bit tired and need my beauty sleep.............

Birthday Girl

Tomorrow, my big girl, my Bi-Centennial Baby turns 18. Where on earth has that time gone?

She sits her HSC this year and then off to Uni in Armidale (she hopes). That will give me two kids at Uni and two kids at home. gee it is going to be quiet !!!

There will be no birthday tea in our house tomorrow night as she is going out with her friend, Jess. None om Saturday night, either because she will be at Jess's for the weekend. looks like Friday night is the go !!! I'll be scrapping with my friend tomorrow afternoon so will do a cake in the morning so we can have birthday cake after school.

Just cannot believe she is 18.......................